A. It’s funny seeing all these people with Mandala tattoos and nothing Buddhist about how they live. I don’t recall reading or anything about Buddhism that involves sitting on your ass and not doing a thing about your life. It is good to remember that not knowing what to do with your life is different from not doing anything about your life. I think they are mistaking Buddhism for their stupid stoner shit which is pathetic. You don’t complain about how you don’t know what to do with your life and then do absolutely nothing about it.
It’s all about motion; I read it somewhere. And it really is. Most of the time motion is not really about reaching and instantly getting what you want. It can be a small ant-like step but most of the times we fail to see that it has this giant effect on us. Even the hard fall you get from committing mistakes is a movement. Gravity is not the one who’s holding us down; it is own will to change our lives.
(This writing about it is my little step into acknowledging that I need to make bigger steps if I want to do something, go somewhere, and be someone.)
B. Today, I promise to let go of people who do absolutely nothing good to my life. Life is heavy enough to drag deadweight along. People who bring me down – with their negativity, their lack of ambition, their whole nonsensical lifestyle – are supposed to be left behind. I don’t want to be a magnet that does nothing but attract all the negative poles around me.
C. I learned that you can only be a doormat if you let other people treat you that way. I was so afraid of hurting other people’s feelings or too embarrassed to do so that I end up suffering for all of it. I took on their weights and put it upon myself. And then they surround me, lightweight and all, while I buckle down under all the weight I’m not supposed to be carrying in the first place. There are people who are unworthy of my generosity. I shouldn’t answer to anyone else. People should be adults and be mature and own up to their actions. I’m not going to be the person who cleans other people’s mess. It did nothing to me; being treated like shit and being taken for granted. Let them be lost in their pointless soul-searching while I go forward in my life, in my own pace, carrying the weight I allow myself to carry.